{"id":55436,"date":"2026-05-03T16:16:04","date_gmt":"2026-05-03T16:16:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/purpose.lifestruepurpose.org\/?p=55436"},"modified":"2026-05-03T16:16:04","modified_gmt":"2026-05-03T16:16:04","slug":"you-covered-yourself-in-baby-oil-to-slip-away-from-me-ill-still-cuff-you-even-if-youre-slicker-than-a-greased-pig-patty-mayos-fierce-declaration-while-wrestling-the-slippery-fugitive-coh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/purpose.lifestruepurpose.org\/?p=55436","title":{"rendered":"“You covered yourself in baby oil to slip away from me? I’ll still cuff you even if you’re slicker than a greased pig!” – Patty Mayo’s fierce declaration while wrestling the slippery fugitive Cohen in the locked room during the chaotic bust."},"content":{"rendered":"
My name is Patty Mayo, a bounty hunter with over a decade of chasing fugitives across the backroads and broken homes of America. Today, Riley and I pulled up to a rundown house on the edge of town looking for Cohen\u2014a violent fugitive wanted for assault and failure to appear in court. We knocked. A cocky young guy named Atticus Bothwell answered, arms crossed, attitude dialed up to maximum.<\/div>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know any Cohen,\u201d he lied immediately, then tried to distract us with some bullshit story about his own traffic tickets. I smiled politely, but my instincts were screaming. While Riley kept him talking at the door, I slipped around the side and peered through a window. My pulse spiked. Drug paraphernalia was scattered across the coffee table in plain view\u2014pipes, baggies, the works.<\/div>\n
I picked up a discarded hand-rolled cigarette from the yard, tested it on the spot. Positive for illegal substances. That gave us legal grounds. \u201cFlashbang ready,\u201d I whispered to Riley. We made the call.<\/div>\n
The bang and flash lit up the house like lightning. We stormed in, voices loud and commands clear. Atticus started yelling, but we had him controlled fast. Then we heard movement on the roof. I looked up and spotted a figure trying to hide like some wannabe Tarzan.<\/div>\n
\u201cGet down now or I\u2019m coming up after you!\u201d I shouted. After some tense negotiation and threats, he finally complied. Getting the cuffed suspect down the ladder was a nightmare\u2014he nearly slipped twice. We had barely planted his feet on the ground when we realized the real problem was still inside.<\/div>\n
A locked room at the back of the house. And something very slippery waiting behind that door.<\/div>\n

We secured Atticus and \u201cTarzan\u201d in the patrol vehicles, then cleared the rest of the house. In the living room we found a ballistic shield\u2014definitely not standard homeowner equipment. Riley whistled. \u201cThese boys are playing for keeps.\u201d
\nThe last door was locked tight. I pounded on it. \u201cOpen up! Fugitive task force!\u201d Silence. We breached it with a heavy ram. Inside stood a large, muscular man completely slathered in baby oil, skin gleaming under the light. His eyes were wild with pure aggression.
\n\u201cDon\u2019t touch me!\u201d he snarled and charged. My hand slipped right off his arm like it was greased lightning. Riley grabbed him from behind and got thrown off balance immediately. We went down in a chaotic tangle of limbs and oil. He was incredibly strong and impossibly slippery, twisting like a greased pig in a county fair. I took an elbow to the shoulder that sent pain shooting down my arm. The room became a war zone of crashing furniture and cursing.
\n\u201cPin his legs!\u201d I yelled. We wrestled across the floor, sliding in the mess. Finally, I dropped my full weight on his back, wrenched one arm behind him, and Riley snapped the cuff on. The second cuff was even harder, but we got it. He kept thrashing even after he was secured, screaming threats the whole time.
\nThat\u2019s when the big twist hit. In his pocket we found ID confirming he was Cohen\u2014the exact fugitive we came for. He wasn\u2019t just hiding; he\u2019d prepared this disgusting defense tactic in advance. He laughed through bloody lips. \u201cYou\u2019ll never hold me.\u201d
\nWe dragged him outside as backup units arrived. The house was full of enough evidence to add multiple felony charges\u2014drug possession, resisting arrest, and more. But as the sun started to set, I couldn\u2019t shake the feeling this bust had opened a much bigger can of worms in the local drug scene.We transported all three suspects back to the station. Cohen, Atticus, and \u201cTarzan\u201d were booked on the original warrants plus fresh charges: possession of controlled substances, resisting arrest with force, and obstructing justice. Cohen\u2019s baby oil stunt became instant legend in the department\u2014bodycam footage made even the hardened veterans shake their heads in disbelief.
\nThe ballistic shield and drugs linked them to a larger local trafficking ring. Detectives took over the deeper investigation, but our bust provided the crucial first domino. Atticus flipped early for a reduced sentence and gave up valuable information. \u201cTarzan\u201d followed suit. Cohen remained defiant until the weight of the evidence finally crushed his attitude.
\nLater that night, Riley and I sat in the truck cleaning oil off our gear. \u201cHell of a shift,\u201d he said with a tired grin. I laughed. \u201cNever wrestled a greased-up fugitive before. Probably won\u2019t be the last.\u201d
\nThe case reminded me why I do this job. Every takedown, no matter how messy or ridiculous, helps pull dangerous people off the streets. Cohen and his crew won\u2019t be hurting anyone for a long time. The community is a little safer, and that\u2019s what matters.
\nWe refilled our coffee, checked the next warrant, and rolled out into the night. Another fugitive was waiting somewhere out there, and we\u2019d be ready\u2014oil or no oil.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My name is Patty Mayo, a bounty hunter with over a decade of chasing fugitives across the backroads and broken homes of America. Today, Riley and I pulled up to a rundown house on the edge of town looking for Cohen\u2014a violent fugitive wanted for assault and failure to appear in court. We knocked. A […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":55437,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-55436","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-purpose"],"yoast_head":"\n"You covered yourself in baby oil to slip away from me? 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